A quick guide to build relationship via email

When working in Singapore or other International Partnership the virtual relationship is a necessity.

When you send a response to an email or initiate new contact and never receive a return you may ask yourself why? You may wonder why people will not respond. The responses you receive depend on your written behavior, the codes you use that turn the recipient on or off. How do you decode and influence email messages?

Has virtual communication really created a more effective and efficient use of time or our leadership and management capability? The speed and leverage of instant information has moved business activity to a high level of data transfer and some say that the paperless process has saved lots of trees, increased decision making speed, given the leader/manager a greater span of control etc.

What do you say? Are you using less paper? Have you ever had difficulty communicating instructions? Is it easier to relate to co-workers, clients, customers and international business processes?

A recent client outside the US was experiencing a return ratio on email correspondence of one out of fifty requests. The client was responding to inquiries for information about their product. Immediately after learning more about the actual science behind the structure of the words and phrases, the Subject line, Salutations, Body and Close, responses more than doubled. What happened?

There were no noticeable changes in the weather, the government, the product and price or the email address. The way the client was now answering the emails changed. They were aligning with or respecting the way their potential customer was unconsciously processing data.

Email communication may have a tendency to place data as a priority not the person receiving the email. Remember “High Tech-Low Touch” may be a way of loosing the human connection. The way people use Email may also be similar to the way they communicate face to face. If we do not understand the underlying human process of others, the gathering, storing and retrieving of information at the unconscious level, we are missing a connection.

If I am transmitting on channel 2 and you are tuned to channel 4 we are going to have difficulty and you may not feel respected because I am not honoring the way you communicate.

The solution is relatively easy especially with email. Your email is the template. Without in-depth physiological evaluation all you need to do is pace or match the language, structure and process of the sender.

The words used must match the sender’s internal process. If the email has words like see, observe, look, picture etc, the sender is more visual so use visual words. If the sender uses words like hear, sound, listen etc. they are more auditory. If they use words like feel, walk through, a sense of, hands on, they are more kinesthetic. Use their words.

If the sender’s email is brief with short to the point structure that’s what they want back to feel respected which is an unconscious stimulation. They consciously get a good feeling about you and your email. If the email is detailed then give more detail. If the email is structured like an outline, give them back structure. The purpose is to show a deep level of respect at the unconscious level which will result in good feelings and a response.

By pacing the initial email first, you can then begin to lead the influencing process. Pace first then lead. Remember to pace every few sentences. Too much leading reduces the rapport and trust level.

Leading without pacing is an indication of disrespect at the unconscious level. You will most likely not receive a response. Remember a major distinction which will identify you as a leader is the perception that you respect and care for the well being of others.